


Her Sickness Is Her Home

by KH_Scribes



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Eating Disorder, F/F, Gen, Marital Abuse, abuse from mother, swanqueen fluff and pain all in one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 14:46:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18478417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KH_Scribes/pseuds/KH_Scribes
Summary: Regina suffers from an eating disorder and has since she was a child.Eventually after passing out in the house Emma takes her to the hospital.Slowly but surely she starts to recover. This is the story of her disorder, her recover, her relapses, and her family helping her.CW: eating disorder - more insideHigh T[Edited + Complete]





	1. You Are Skin and Bones

AN: So this idea has been going around in my head for a while and I thought I would finally get it down!

Trigger warning for eating disorders, and child abuse.

I am sorry if this is OOC, it's one of my first fics and I'm still getting a feel for writing. Regina will be OOC but that is because eating disorders change characteristics, and when it is found out that also changes a person, so warning Regina will be OOC in this.

The song is Skin & Bones by Picture Me Broken.

Disclaimer, I do not own these characters or the show of Once Upon a Time or the song.

I don't have a beta so all mistakes are mine.

 **Bold** means a flashback or dream sequence, and  ** _Bold Italics_** are the lyrics, and  _Italics_  are thoughts.

* * *

 

_**Hey dear, I fear** _   
_**I'll watch you disappear** _   
_**I know you'll go** _   
_**Until you're Skin and Bones** _

_**Your reflection's all you're worth** _

_**This time it's almost over** _   
_**I watch you turn to dust** _   
_**I know it's not much longer** _   
_**Until you faint** _

Regina sits on the silk sheets that she and Emma have been using more, however her reason for sitting is less lovely than that of Emma Swan. She wrestles with her body – it tells her she needs the food and the voice of her mind and mother saying no.

" **Stupid petulant child! How many times must I tell you! You do not get desert you must look good for a man one day! Skinny for him to love!"**

**Regina places the fork down with a nod and looks to her mother,**

**"I know mother, I must have this size of waist and these dresses and…"**

**with an exasperated sigh Regina faces her mother**

**"When will it end mother?"**

**Cora raises her hand as Regina feels the burn to her face without the mark from a hand print.  
That was the end of that conversation.**

' _I must not eat! I can't, no Regina, Emma won't love you anymore. I need this. Control this!'_  
Regina mutters to herself as she tries to calm the dizziness in her head when she smells it, those wonderful blueberry pancakes Emma makes, and she stands as Emma walks in but immediately has to sit. The blonde rushes over to her yelling down to Henry to keep an eye on the food.

"'Gi, you okay?"

Emma asks softly. They mayor mask is put in place as Regina nods.

"Yes, dear I am fine. I believe I smell pancakes and coffee?"

Emma smiles and grabs the dark eyed woman's hand.

"Yup, there is!"

Henry looks up at his mothers greeting his adoptive parent as they all sit at the table for breakfast.

"Hey mom! Ma makes awesome pancakes!"

Henry says shovelling more food into his 14-year-old mouth.

Regina looks at the pancakes and smiles going to grab her fork  
**_'_** _Regina, don't do it! You can control yourself!'  
_She slowly lowers the fork, but her body overpowers her, and she lifts the utensil to cut the pancake and places it in her mouth a moan escaping but she covers it up. Grasping for another piece and within a few minutes she looks to her son and girlfriend who are gaping at her.

"Mom? Are you feeling okay?"

Henry asks in concern, as Emma stands and rubs Regina's back, due to the fact that the tan complexion the Mayor normally holds has gone somewhat green as Regina faces an internal nightmare.

 **_'The cake tastes so good, oh strawberries that would be good, ah I love tea so much!'_ ** **  
All of these thoughts racing in Regina's mind in the kitchen quarters at well past midnight. Suddenly a restriction comes upon the young girl and the sensation of a slap to her bottom and face.**

**"Mother!?"**

**She cries out in desperation as Cora quickly makes the food and liquid disappear and transports Regina to her room locking the door before yelling outside of the door,**

**"Three days with no food Regina. I may give you water."**

**She says with a deep chuckle.**

Regina stands and runs to the bathroom before quickly relieving herself of the calories and carbohydrates and fats. Emma runs after her and pulls the hair from her girlfriend's eyes as Henry walks into the bathroom – almost afraid to see his mother ill. Regina wipes her mouth and turns to Henry,

"May you please get me some water?"

Henry nods as he tries not to act nervous at seeing his mom be sick, she has never been physically ill in front of him before.  
Emma sighs as she rubs her girlfriends back,

"'Gina, what's up? Did you eat something bad?"

Regina just shakes her head as Henry walks back in with a cup of water,

"Thank you, Henry, and I don't know I just am not feeling well I guess"

_'Not feeling well, because I have nothing! No control.'_

Emma nods but isn't convinced, as she slowly helps Regina off of the floor and to their bed.

"Just get some rest, yeah? I'll call your secretary and tell her you're sick."

Regina nods and lays down curling into a ball, Emma turns to Henry who is still there standing in the doorway of the en suite.

"You can go Henry, I'll take care of your mom, thank you."

She smiles at him as he goes out of the room presumably to finish his breakfast. As Emma snuggles into Regina, she slides herself as close to her girlfriend as she can, but something catches her and she stops Regina flips over feeling the blonde stop cuddling,

"Em? What's wrong?"

Regina asks as she looks down feeling ashamed  
_'it's probably because of the fat on my abdomen'_

"Regina. You're skinny, like really thin. I-I can feel your spin and,"

she slowly felt around to her lovers front feeling ribs poking beneath what was now ghost like skin –even with the olive complexion.

"And your ribs are right there, I can feel them more than I used too."

Although Emma thought  
_'Regina has always been quite skinny.'  
_Regina turns back around and sighs curling into herself she pushes Emma back

"Stop it!"

Regina spits,

"Just leave me be Swan!"

She says trying to sound all madam mayor, but the waver is heard in her fierceness. Emma resigns, leaving the room with a soft

"Okay, Regina."

**_'Cause you'll never love yourself at all_ **   
**_'Cause everything you touch will fall to pieces_ **   
**_this time it's almost over now_ **

Regina sighs and rolls over onto her side of the bed and starts to cry, she slowly picks up Emma's pillow and holds it to her chest as sobs escape her mouth and wrack her body. As she falls into a slight slumber nightmares invade her subconscious.

**Regina lays in her bed – much the same as she is while dreaming – her stomach growls for the food her mother has restricted. She hears a knock to her door cowering up she whispers out a small**

**"who is it?"**

**She sighs in relief as her father walks in with some pork from the kitchen.**

**"Thank you daddy!"**

**she whispers looking up to her father holding the plate out she grabs it and starts to eat slowly but swiftly too. At that moment Cora storms in**

**"Henry! What do you think you are doing to my daughter?"**

**"Your daughter? Cora she is our daughter, and you are starving her!"**

**Regina tries to back away to the confines of her closet but not before belts attach themselves to her waist and constrict her until she is vomiting…**

Regina wakes with a start and sits up before the weakness in her bones pushes her back into the sea of silk that could drown her. The older woman slams her fists into the bed before a growl erupts in her throat  
_'stupid, worthless, nothing. Out. Of. Control.’_  
The racing thoughts wouldn't escape but for one thing. She opens her drawer (the magically locked one) and grabs the first thing there, red vines and lots of them she stuffs them into her mouth not finishing one stick before starting the next.  
_'Idiot. Empty.'_    
Regina stands and takes two strides towards the bathroom before…

**_Wake up skin and bones_ **   
**_(Wake up)_ **   
**_Wake up skin and bones_ **   
**_(Wake up)_ **

Henry hears a crash from upstairs but Emma is lost in herself – worrying over her girlfriend – and doesn't hear the noise. Henry rushes up the stairs taking two at a time and races to the room before screaming. Emma's ears pick up on noise and then register what is going on as she jumps from the couch and bounds to the room.

"Gina wake up, baby come on!"

The blonde begs of her girlfriend as she shakes her.

"Henry,"

she turns to face her son

"How long has she been out?"  
Henry shakes his head

"Um a minute, maybe a little more. I ran up hear as soon as I heard a bang."

Emma nods as Regina slowly starts to come to, Emma sighs in relief and Henry rushes to Regina's side.

"Mom? Are you okay?"

Regina just shakes her head before proceeding to turn on her side and vomit on the carpet. While a flashback doesn't come the feelings do and Regina recoils from the touch her girlfriend and son were giving, and tears begin to flow

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't, I'm sorry."

This is the mantra that runs from the lips of the mayor.

"Regina, we are going to the hospital. Okay?"

Regina shakes her head,

"Please don't Em' I can't…"

Emma shakes her head

"Gi, you've been sick twice and passed out, now you're panicking. We need to go. I'll be there and so will Henry."

Regina turns to face her son as she slowly sits up,

"No, Henry needs to go with Snow and Charming. He can't see me worse than this."

Emma nods and looks to Henry.

"Kid go call grandma? Tell her you wanna hang out and just say your mom is sick but it's okay."

Henry nods and pulls out his cell phone to call.

"Okay, let's get you up, I'll grab some bags in case you need to vomit again."

Regina just nods and gets to her feet using the saviour as an anchor. With that they head to the hospital as Charming picks up Henry.

_**You're so alone** _   
_**your sickness feels like home** _   
_**Find some control** _   
_**Starve 'till you're beautiful** _

_**Your reflection's all you're worth** _

Emma rushes into the hospital with Regina trailing behind shaking.

"Doc! Whale! Somebody!?"

With that Regina catches up to the blonde

"Emma please, be qui-"

and Regina slowly stumbles over just in time Emma catches her head.

"Nurse! Please get a doctor! She's been sick twice and now has passed out a second time!"

Regina slowly comes to, as Doc walks over.

"Mayor Mills, Sheriff Swan. I heard your shouts. Do we need a stretcher, or can you stand Madam Mayor?"

Regina stands up and looks to Emma searching the face that she knows perfectly and then looks back to Dr. Groves (or Doc)

"Emma will help me to the room if you have one, if not we will wait."

Emma looks back at her partner and then gets very close to Doc

"Get a room ready now."

The doctor nods and quickly pages his nursing staff.

"Come this was Ms. Mills, Miss. Swan."

Emma nods her thanks to the doctor and places a steadying hand onto Regina's back. Doc leads the ladies to a private room – as the hospital is fairly big for such a small town so there are spares. Doc takes one look at Regina and wonders in his head  
_'She is too skinny. I may get a psychologist up here soon. After I evaluate.'_

"If you could just take a sit Mayor Mills on the bed. Sheriff Swan you can sit on the chair beside the bed."

Then Doc has a thought.

"Emma, I know we aren't a conventional-rule-following town, but may you please leave us for just a few moments while I evaluate Ms. Mills alone."

Emma looks strangely at the old doctor but complies when Regina makes no sound of refusal. Regina slowly sits up against the back of the gurney-bed and sighs

"Call me Regina Doc. Please?"

Dr. Groves nods and starts to speak

"Regina, on a scale of 1 to 10 how bad do you feel?"

Doc poses the question softly and Regina exudes a vulnerability that is unlike anything anyone other than Emma and Henry had seen, as she answers

"Physically I feel around a 7 right now. Dizzy and a little nauseous."

Dr. Groves nods as he takes down notes on a chart. Looking back up he coughs to get her attention which has been lacking,

"Would you mind if I gave you an examination? Just a quick, weight, height, ear nose throat passages. Obviously if anything is wrong, I will have to get a specialist."

Regina looks at the doctor and nods

"Yes, you may do an examination."

Doc smiles softly and places the weight-height chart towards the bed. Regina looks down nervously and stands on wobbly legs moving towards the machine. She stops just shy of standing and looks at Doc, shaking her head she starts to apologize,

"I'm sorry Dr. Groves I just c-can't do it… I n-need Em-Emma..."

She backs away to the bed and sits on it shaking her head  
_'I'm a disappointment! I know I'm underweight, I just can't stop it!'  
_Regina hadn't noticed at this point Doc had stepped out and let Emma in. As Emma slides onto the bed not touching her girlfriend but hoping the dark haired woman can feel her presence she looks into the glazed over lost eyes of her lover.

**_This time it's almost over_ **   
**_I watch you turn to dust_ **   
**_I know it's not much longer_ **   
**_until you faint_ **

" **You are nothing Regina!"**

**The Evil Queen turns to her mother a fireball in hand**

**"You do not control me anymore Mother!"**

**She says with a snarl as the fireball is extinguished by Cora's overpowering magic,**

**"Idiotic girl! Will you never learn? I am always the controller! I will have that power!"**

**At this moment a young Snow walks in**

**"Grandmother? What are you doing here?"**

**Cora lifts her head and looks at her daughter who has turned away from the child**

**"I am here to give your step-mother a little talk… May you please leave us and run along to find your father?"**

**Snow nods her head, skipping off to find her daddy.**

**"Just like I told. I can control everything… Even if you don't realize it!"**

Emma gingerly takes her partners hand as she was now kneeling on the floor staring up into tear-dropped dark eyes. The green eyes search eyes that are off somewhere that was not hospital.

"Regina, sweetie? Come here, come here."

Emma slowly broke through the mayor's wall and she started to crumple into herself and Emma grabbed the skinny woman who seemed to be out of it.

"Regina, you need help… Can you tell me what is going on?"

Regina shakes her head and then says something Emma never expected,

"G-Go to the vau-vault. There will be a cup-cupboard you will understand ho-hopefully."

Emma looks at Regina curiously but nods.

"I'll be back Gi. Dr. Groves, if she is up to it do an evaluation but if possible, could you wait until I come back?"

Doc nods and goes to grab Regina some water. Regina straightens up on the bed and sits crossing her legs she places her face in her hands and wipes the tears away  
_'Weak, why did you let them see your weakness.'_  
One side of Regina's mind says but the other side for the first time fights back  
_'because I need help, Emma loves me. I'm not afraid to show her my vulnerability.'_  
'But love is weakness'  
'its strength.'  
The thoughts race in her mind until she is holding her head in her hands her skin feels like it is ripping over the razor-sharp bones. Doc walks in and Regina immediately sits up wiping the excess tears from her face and shakily takes the plastic cup of water.

"Thank you doctor"

Dr. Groves just nods and leaves the room.

**_'Cause you'll never love yourself at all_ **   
**_'Cause everything you touch will fall to pieces_ **   
**_this time it's almost over now_ **

Emma stands outside the vault nervous as to what she will find. She opens the door using her magic and slips inside. Quickly she notices the swarm of moths that escape, and she waves her arms to get them away from her, as she finds herself further into the vault she notices the mess that has formed and frowns.  
_'What is going on?'  
_All of the sudden she slips and notices that it is vomit she has slipped on. With a wave of her hand the vomit and disgusting smell is gone. When she turns the corner to the room that Regina had made down here all her suspicions are confirmed.

She covers her mouth to hold in the sob that escapes her mouth and walks towards the mirror with pictures and post-its. She slowly pics them up and sighs as she notices a timeline.  
’ _These are in the enchanted forest?'_  
As she picks up a picture she had seen before many times clearly a painting turned to picture. One of Regina around 17 in a riding uniform  
_'she looks so happy, but a darkness is there…'_  
Emma thinks as she places it down, she knocks over a box with pictures in it the same style as her riding one. Except this is very different…

It's a picture of a 13-year-old girl in her underwear with numbers on her waist and chest – that had yet to develop – and legs, numbers everywhere. Emma immediately notices the small scars that she has seen on her girlfriend and small tears fall as she looks into a mirror the post-its have what seem to be weights and inches and calculations.  
_'Oh Gina…'_  
and with the realization she looks towards the bed and see's the drawers under it. She yanks them out of the bed and the stash of food flies across the room. Grabbing some of the pictures and post-its Emma runs out of the vault almost forgetting to lock it she slams into her bug  
_'metal coffin on wheels.'_    
Emma tries to think positively.

She opens her door after parking haphazardly and runs into the hospital.

"Doc! I know what's wrong!"

Dr. Groves nods

"Calm down Emma, so do I. I am going to let you in to see her. I assume she knows that you will know now."

Emma nods,

"Oh and Doc. Can you leave us for about ten minutes until you do the evaluation? And I presume you are gonna bring Dr. Hopper with you?"

Doc nods and leads Emma to the room Regina is in but at that moment Snow calls Emma on her cell

"Mom, I can't talk right now! I'll call you back."

Emma then ends the call and steps into the room as Snow calls again, but Emma turns her phone onto complete silent.

"Hey, Gi."

Regina looks up and the two stare at each other for a moment before Regina nods her hello,

"Regina. Why? Why didn't you tell me?"

at that Regina looks hurt and just shakes her head.

"Did you think something was wrong with you?"

Regina nods slowly as tears track her face, Emma slowly swipes the tears away

"Oh Regina, nothing is wrong with needing help. Dr. Groves, and Dr. Hopper are going to come to give you an evaluation, is that okay?"

Regina nods and then looks at Emma curiously

"Why is Archie coming?"?

Emma sighs,

"I'll let them explain."

"Emma."

Regina grabs her hand

"stay?"

Emma half smiles and nods

"I'll stay."

As Regina sits closer to the top of the bed, she crosses her legs still holding Emma's hand. Emma slides up on the bed and faces Regina, however her legs were tucked to the side.

Both of their heads turn towards the door that was opening.

"Regina, Emma. We"

Doc gestures to himself and Dr. Hopper,

"are here for the evaluation. Regina as mayor you have loopholes, so is Emma staying in the room for this?"

Regina and Emma nod, both responding with yes.

"Hello Regina,"

Archie replies to the lady's nods.

"Regina would you please lay down on the bed, and Emma if you could sit in the chair."

Both ladies make their moves – with Emma pulling the chair as close to the bed as she can. Doc slowly moves his measuring wheel for how far Regina's legs can bend to make sure no damage has been done to the bone.

"Okay Regina I want you to bend your knee so that it can go as close to your bottom as you can without pain."

Regina complies with that request,

"So, Regina your heel hits your bottom, which shows you seem to have no bone issues. However, the skin is rough across the knee indicating dehydration."

Regina nodded as Archie wrote down what Doc said. Doc then asked slowly,

"How much water do you drink? And do you know your daily count of how many fruits, meats, starches, et cetera that you eat?"

Regina shrinks down into herself and Emma grasps the bony and veiny hand that she can't believe she didn't notice how thin her girlfriend was getting,

"Gi, be honest, please? We all want to help you."

Regina glares at her girlfriend.

"I don't need help Emma! In fact, all of you leave the room!"

_'I need control, I need control.'_

Emma doesn't make a move to get up however Dr. Hopper and Dr. Groves have moved to the side of the room.

"Emma LEAVE! You too doctors!"

Emma nods to the doctors and slowly gets up to leave the room.

"Okay we will leave you for a few minutes, but I will come back in. Okay?"

Regina glares at Emma clearly saying it's not okay, and then just points to the door. Her head lifted defiantly.

_**Until you're skin and bones** _   
_**your sickness feels like home** _   
_**(Your sickness feels like)** _   
_**your sickness feels like** _   
_**Home** _

' _Need control. Worthless. No one cares.'  
_The thoughts continue to assault her until she has run to the small toilet room in the private suite. Quickly turning on the sink to try and drown out the sound she slowly lifts her fingers staring at the small scars and tiny scabs on her knuckle from where her teeth have scraped previously. She shakes her head and grips the toilet seat with one hand and with her right hand her first and middle finger scrap to the back of her throat. It doesn't take any time at all any more to bring up the small bit of water they gave her and the rest of the candy that wasn't brought up before her first collapse.

**"Regina, I have a new potion for you!"**

**Regina shakes her head now 17 and being sold off, essentially, to a king whom her mother is waiting for.**

**"No mother. I have had enough of the magic that you inflict on me!"**

**Cora just shakes her head and smiles in an evil sort of way,**

**"Very well. I guess you will have to endure two bouts of magic"**

**she says and with a flick of her wrist Regina is completely still, as Cora walks towards her daughter Regina shakes her head seeing the green liquid in bottle**

**"What is that? Mother!?"**

**but within a second of her mouth being open Cora pours the liquid into her mouth, Regina begins to turn a shade of red and then green as all of the sudden she is growing thinner with the sensation of vomiting and yet no vomit is there.**

**"M-Moth-Mother?"**

**Cora just laughs and undoes her spell of stillness and Regina slumps over gripping her abdomen and stomach crying in pain.**

Her fingers move down her throat another time and another until she is only puking up acid and now some blood, Emma had walked in about three seconds ago but then heard the tap running so she ran to the toilet room and listened closer when the sound of gagging and crying came about she walked out and called Doc and Archie in.

Slowly all three made their way to the toilet room and quietly Emma steps in and slowly walks forward, turning off the tap Regina jumps slightly and then Emma sees her girlfriend slumped over the toilet her hair almost dirty but not.

"Regina, honey? May I touch you?"

Emma sees a nod and goes closer to Regina pulling back her dark hair and rubbing her back she looks into the toilet and see's the remains of Regina's breakdown and flushes the toilet holding Regina now she puts the toilet sit and cover down and looks back to the doctors.

"Regina, you need help. Please let us help you…"

_'They want to hurt you, they don't care, they want you to lose everything. They don't know what I need. I need this!'_

"NO! I don't need help."

Regina says with a snarl in her voice that makes Emma turn to the doctors with tears in her own eyes,

"Regina. You need some fucking help! You do not even know how much you are hurting everyone and worse you don't know how bad you've messed up yourself! You need the damn help that we are offering you!"

Regina turns away in fear of Emma, she has never seen Emma shout at her – at least not when they've been a couple. Emma lets go of Regina and moves her off of her lap. Standing she pulls at her jeans which had crumpled and smooths them out.

"I'm going to go update Henry and my parents, stay in bed and I hope when I get back you will have changed your mind."

She leans down and kisses Regina on the top of her head

"I love you."

And with that Emma leaves the toilet room and hospital room.

_**This time it's almost over** _   
_**I watch you turn to dust** _   
_**I know it's not much longer** _   
_**until you faint** _

Emma slams the door of her bug – for the first time hating the sunny colour – and screams while tears run down her face and she slams her forehead against the wheel, it hurts but she doesn't care _._  
‘Why? What was so wrong with Cora? Why can't Regina see she needs help?'  
Emma slowly sits up and wipes her eyes reversing from her spot she then drives forward to Snow and Charming's house. As she gets there, she quickly looks at herself using her front camera on her phone – just now seeing that she has 4 missed calls from Snow and multiple texts as well – and knocks.

She can hear David yell to Henry to get the door. Opening it Henry looks at Emma,

"Ma! How is mom? What's wrong with her? Can we see her? Is she home?"

Emma grabs Henry's shoulders and shakes her head

"Kid slow down. Mom will be okay, I need to talk to your grandparents first, and no she isn't home nor is she good for visitors right now..."

She says answering all of his questions. Turning to her parents,

"Mom, Dad can we go talk in Neal's room please? I need to talk to you guys first."

Snow and David nod as Henry stays downstairs and talks to Neal.

"Guys 'Gi has an eating disorder… And I don't know what to tell Henry. I also gotta be back at the hospital soon."

Snow covers her mouth in shock as David looks at Emma with concern,

"How are you doing Emma?"

David asks, Emma just shakes her head and looks as though she is going to cry again  
_'I'm all cried out.'  
_Emma thinks sadly as Snow moves towards her daughter to give her a hug, and then steps back

"How bad is she Emma?"

Emma once again shakes her head looking down.

"She-She isn't good…"

And with that Henry who had been eavesdropping can't contain his concern and pushes the door open

"Ma, um… what do you mean mom has an, an eating disorder? She ate all those pancakes this morning! Mom can't be sick like that! Ma!"

He slams his body into hers,

"Henry… You shouldn't have been listening. But you're going to have to stay here tonight while I go to the hospital. I'm sorry Kiddo…"

And with that she hugs her parents and brother, kisses her son on the head and leaves saying

"I love you and will call you guys later".

_**'Cause you'll never love yourself at all** _   
_**'Cause everything you touch will fall to pieces** _   
_**this time it's almost over now** _

Emma goes into the hospital preparing herself to talk to Regina when Dr. Hopper and Dr. Groves come out of Regina's room with relieved smiles on their faces and bump into Emma. Emma frantically looks at the doctors her eyes asking the questions that her mouth can't seem to form and the doctors nod

"She is gonna have to stay here, but we think after today she has finally realized her problem."

Dr. Groves answers and then Dr. Hopper speaks up,

"I believe she always knew she had a problem. I think today she realized that the control she craved wasn't coming from her eating or lack thereof. She hit her rock bottom and I hope she is ready to put her work in."

Emma sighs in relief,

"Can I go into her room?"

The doctors both nod and she walks past them opening the door

"Hey honey, I'm back."

She says softly. Regina looks up her eyes red-rimmed and her arms hugging her legs.

"Em-Emma. I'm five foot four and a half and I-I am only nine-ninety pounds… I-I need help."

She says nodding finally looking up fear and shame evident in the dark-haired woman's eyes. Emma nods and walks towards the bed.

"And we will get you that help, and we will work through it."

She says nodding and with that Regina leans into her blonde-haired girlfriend,

"We will work through it."


	2. We Can Make It Through

AN: So here is chapter 2.

Trigger warning for eating disorders, child abuse and in this chapter rape and miscarriage.

Song in this chapter is Courage by Superchick.

Disclaimer, I do not own these characters or the show of Once Upon a Time or the song.

I don't have a beta so all mistakes are mine.

**Bold** means a flashback or dream sequence, and **_Bold Italics_** are the lyrics, and  _Italics_  are thoughts.

* * *

 

**_I told another lie today_**  
**_And I got through this day_**  
**_No one saw through my games_**  
**_I know the right words to say_**  
**_Like "I don't feel well," "I ate before I came"_**  
**_Then someone tells me how good I look_**  
**_And for a moment, for a moment I am happy_**  
**_But when I'm alone, no one hears me cry_**

" **Leopold. Please stop. No."**

**Leopold continues his caressing of his new wife's body. She closes her eyes and tries to forget what is happening to her body. She can't and it reminds her of how she felt when Cora would hurt her and slap her if she ate. And slowly tears start to form in her closed eyes as his movements continues.**

Emma looks down at Regina who keeps kicking her legs and all of the sudden her legs go limp and she starts to curl into herself. At this Emma starts to try and wake Regina. She had been trying to wake her girlfriend for a while but Regina was too far into the dream that nothing was waking her. Now that Regina was still Emma hoped that she could wake up the older woman.

"Gina, honey."

She says shaking the shorter woman's shoulder, silently cheering at the fact it felt just the slightest bit less bony.

"Gi, wake up sweetie."

Still tapping shaking the woman. Slowly Regina looked around and realized where she was in their home in their bed.

"Emma. I was dreaming, I dreamt of Leopold."

Emma immediately wraps her arms around Regina and starts to rock her,

"He isn't here. He is gone. You are safe. You are loved. You have so much worth. I love you. I love you."

Regina eventually calmed down,

"I love you too."

**_I need you to know_**  
**_I'm not through the night_**  
**_Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light_**

It was Regina's appointment at the hospital for her weight to be checked and her session with Dr. Hopper. It had been 2 months since her first time where she said she wanted to get better.

It hadn't been easy at all.  
_'I want the weight, but I don't. I hate feeling this way.'  
_Emma notices Regina's bouncing leg in the car as Henry taps Emma on the shoulder from the back of the car, pointing out that the granola bar Regina had grabbed for her snack wasn't eaten yet.

"Gina, honey. You will be okay."

She then places her hand on Regina's thigh

"You gotta eat."

Regina shakes her head,

"Emma please. No. I-I can't. I am so nervous."

Emma takes the bar while driving and opens it. Breaking of half, she hands the half to her girlfriend.

"Just this Gi."

Regina nods and takes a bite chewing slowly,

"Thank you Em… I'm sorry…"

Emma pulls up to the hospital but before she can speak Henry sits forward so he can see his moms,

"Mom. Stop saying sorry. Please. You are getting help and that is what matters."

Regina turns to her son smiling,

"Thank you, Henry. Now you're headed over to the library to finish some school work?"

Henry nods, awkwardly giving his mom a hug and then turning to his ma giving her a hug too.

"See ya later guys, Love you."

He says leaving the car and walking away slinging his backpack on. Emma grabs Regina's bag and puts the other half of the granola bar into it. Unbuckling herself she gets out and opens Regina's door for her.

They walk towards the hospital door hand in hand and check in, sat in the waiting room for the doctors to call them. Eventually Dr. Groves and Dr. Hopper walk in

"Ms. Mills"

both Regina and Emma stand up and walk towards the room which had slowly but surely became the hospital room for the Mills family and Emma's family when needed too.

**_I need you to know_**  
**_That we'll be OK_**  
**_Together we can make it through another day_**

"So, Regina, how have you been?"

Dr. Hopper asks as Dr. Groves gets the weight-height chart set up. Regina just shakes her head; she never answers any questions before she gets weighed.

"So, Regina, a week ago you were 98 pounds which meant you had gained 8 pounds in 3 weeks. Let's see how well you've done since then."

Regina hadn't been telling Emma that when she was at work, she hadn't been eating lunch at all… Stepping on she closes her eyes hoping she had gained some or stayed the same.

When the triangle went down instead of up Regina just stared towards the number. 97.  
_'I'm a failure! Fuck up! Nothing!'_

"I'm so so sorry Emma! I'm trying!"

Emma just holds her girlfriend,

"Regina? How?"

Regina looks up at Emma and sighs

"I, I haven't been eat-eating lunch…"

"Oh Regina. Honey."

Holding onto her girlfriend tighter she rubs the dark-haired woman's back. They slowly sit on the bed. Regina just sighs and looks at the doctors, looking back towards Emma she places her head onto the blonde's neck and just sighs. Emma looks up mouthing to the doctors to please leave them the doctors walk out nodding.

"Gina? Please look at me."

Regina moves her head but refuses to move her eyes towards the green ones looking at her.

"Gina?"

Eventually Regina gives in and stares into the eyes she had been avoiding and sighs slowly she brings her hand to her wrist and makes a circle as far up as her arms she can go. Emma notices this, she also knows what Regina is doing, and that it's a way for Regina to cope with recovery she can still have some control if she can make a circle to a certain spot on her arm.

Slowly Regina gets to a point where her fingers can no longer meet, and Emma stops the tan hands from doing what she knows they will do next – dig into the skin there.

"Regina, it is okay. You will be okay. For now, do you want me to stay with you at your lunch break?"

All Regina does is nod, Emma sighs in relief and thinks 'at least she wants help', while Regina's thoughts are a mix of confusion  
_'If I gain weight Emma won’t love me, but she is worried I'm too skinny, but I'm a burden.’_

The vicious cycle of racing thoughts continue, that is until she spews in her mouth and slowly swallows the vomit.  
_'I finally have control'_

"Regina? What did you just do? Please don't tell me you did what I think you did?"

With this Regina tries to answer cockily,

"What do you think I did dear?"

However, she cannot disguise the smell that is now on her breath and Emma just shakes her head.

**_I don't know the first time I felt unbeautiful_**  
**_The day I chose not to eat_**  
**_What I do know is how I've changed my life forever_**  
**_I know I should know better_**  
**_There are days when I'm OK_**  
**_And for a moment, for a moment I find hope_**  
**_But there are days when I'm not OK_**  
**_And I need your help_**  
**_So I'm letting go_**

Whale and Archie walk in at this moment and both notice the tension that is between the women. Archie then makes the decision,

"Emma, will you please sit in the waiting room while Regina and I have our session."

Emma looks confused but before she can respond Regina gives her a look that say 'leave' without having to say anything and Emma has left the room Dr. Whale following her out and he then turns to do his rounds with other patients. Emma sits with a sigh and slumps in the uncomfortable hospital chairs.

Archie walks over Regina who is sat in the hospital bed instead of the chair that Archie also pulled over for her.

"Regina. Please be open for me today in this session. Emma is worried and now you also have Whale and I concerned. You seemed so ready to change."

At this Regina scoffs,

"I am changing! I am hiding it better!"

She says with power that hides how out of control she feels.

"Regina, you and I both know that is not what we mean, so tell me why you feel you need this?"

The Psychologist asks calmly. At this Regina thinks  
_'Why do I need this? It's not weight. I realised that last week. And I have control know. Why do I need this?'_

"Why do I need this? Why do I need this? Why? Why?"

Slowly Regina rocks back and forth getting gradually louder asking herself over and over why she needs this disorder that has changed her.

Archie gets off of his chair and slowly moves towards the bed, noticing that the dark-haired woman had worked herself into a panic attack.

"Regina, it's me. Archie. I am here. You are in a hospital bed. It is Thursday. Can you hear me?"

Regina only nods however her thoughts are more than silent  
_'I'm sorry. Emma. Henry. I'm sorry. I hurt myself. I am sorry.'_

"Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry."

Archie speaks up again,

"Regina, speak to me. What is going through your mind?"

And at this moment Regina travels back and curls into herself.

" **I can't, I can't be pregnant. This. This cannot happen."**

**Regina lies on her bed as the midwife cleans up and leaves the room,**

**"Would you like me to bring his highness in?"**

**The midwife asks to Regina. Regina just shakes her head dismissing the midwife. This was the one lady who knew what was happening to the dark haired woman. The one who would help her after the king dismissed Regina from his bed chambers. The midwife nods in understanding and leaves the room.**

Regina no longer is in that moment but instead of the flashback ending her mind flashbacks to three months after that day.

  
**"How could you?! How could my queen be so careless as to lose her own child?!"**

**King Leopold's voice booms causing Regina to slightly jump.**

**"I am sorry your king. I should have been careful. I regret not giving Snow a sibling."**

**"You are not to enter my chambers from now until I say."**

**Silently Regina thanks the God she is not sure she believes in that she won't have to deal with her 'duties as queen and wife' for a while. But also, silently hating herself for losing her child.**

Finally, Regina comes back from her episode but a distance in her eyes is there and stays.

"Regina. Can you hear me?"

Regina slowly comes out of her distance and becomes aware of where she is.

"Yes."

Archie nods and slowly calmly asking the question.

"Where were you?"

_'Where was I? I was just reliving hell that still haunts me'_  
Regina thinks sombrely before shaking her head.

"I'd rather just say it was unpleasant memories."

Archie smiles and looks at Regina's hands and back to her asking silently if he can hold her hands. Regina nods, the doctor the grasps her hands lightly.

"Relapses happen Regina. Nothing is wrong with that. However I do know what you did before Emma left. And I want you to know that vomiting and swallowing in your mouth repeatedly causing very serious damage to your throat and teeth.

Do not do that. Or at least refrain as much as you can. But as I said relapses happen, just call me or Whale when they do. Tell Emma. You have a support system. You can get through this.”

Regina listens knowing how right the doctor is and nods some tears escaping.

"I felt like I failed. I guess I still do but you helped. Thank you, Archie."

Archie squeezes Regina's hands which even she can see have changed even in just colour in the last three months.

"I'm going to go get Emma if you'd like?"

The dark-haired woman smiles and nods,

"Yes please."

And with that Archie leaves.

**_I need you to know_**  
**_I'm not through the night_**  
**_Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light_**  
**_I need you to know_**  
**_That we'll be OK_**  
**_Together we can make it through another day_**

Emma walks into the room, after sighing in happiness once Archie had come out of the room and told her she could go in. Tentatively she steps towards the bed that her girlfriend is on and looks at the red rimmed brown eyes that belong to her love.

"Hey Gi? I just wanted to say sorry for how I acted earlier. I know you are trying your hardest."

Regina shakes her head back and forth,

"Emma, you just want to help me. I understand. I need that help."

The blonde just nods and sits next to her girlfriend.

"I love you. Remember that?"

Emma says; however, Regina's response is not verbal but physical and she kisses the blonde before mumbling into the kiss "I love you too". Pulling away Regina grabs Emma's hand,

"let's go get Henry and go home. Also, do you still that half of my granola bar?"

Emma smiles widely nodding and handing the bar to Regina before they stand up and walk out of the hospital driving to go get Henry from the library.

Regina unbuckles her seatbelt and walks into the library, smiling she sees her son head down in a book she slowly walks over to him, waving at Belle as she goes.

"Hey prince"

She says kissing him on the head, Henry quickly closes the book and covers the title before lightly shrugging off his mom,

"I'm not a baby anymore mom, but hey."

Regina steps back before sitting down in the seat next to her son.

"I'm sorry Henry. Um, what is your book?"

She asks wondering why he is hiding it.

"It's nothing mom, I'll grab my stuff and meet you in the car."

Regina nods, before having a thought.

"I'm going to talk to Belle quickly so I will see you in the car, tell your Ma I will be right out please?"

Henry grabs his stuff stuffing his book into his backpack and walking out of the library.

Regina walks over to the desk where Belle's head is stuck in a book.

"Hey Belle."

Belle looks up from her book, quickly grabbing her bookmark and sliding it into her pages.

"Hey, Regina. You are looking well! Did you need anything?"

Regina smiles at the compliment.

"Thank you very much dear. I was wondering if you could please tell me what book Henry was reading?"

Belle nods and quickly looks at her log book for the last book checked out by Henry. Reading the title, she slightly hesitates before looking up at the woman in front of her and answering,

"It's a book called, 'Food to Eat', it's about recipes for people with. For people who struggle with, with eating disorders…"

Regina just nods and leaves with a simple "oh, thank you."

Hopping into the car, Emma looks over at Regina and lightly grasps the tan hand, before starting the car and driving to their house. Pulling up to the house the family all hop out of the car and walk to the house.

"Um Em, I need to talk to Henry. Can you stay down here please? Also, could you start making something for lunch please?"

Emma looks at Regina oddly but then nods,

"Sure. I'll make some sandwiches; do you want some soup from last night with it?"

Regina smiles,

"Soup would be lovely dear. I shouldn't be too long talking to Henry."

And with that Emma and Regina quickly kiss before Regina makes her way up stairs to Henry's room.

**_You should know you're not on your own_**  
**_These secrets are walls that keep us alone_**  
**_I don't know when, but I know now_**  
**_Together we'll make it through somehow_**  
**_(Together we'll make it through somehow)_**

Knocking on Henry's door Regina slowly announces it is her and she walks in after a small "come in mom" comes from behind the door. Henry is sat on his bed the same book he had earlier Regina assumes on his lap writing some kind of notes beside it.

"Henry. I know what book you're reading and I just wanted to tell you. That what I'm going through, you shouldn't have to worry about it or me. But I thank you for wanting to see what food I may prefer to eat."

Henry nods and slowly Regina sees that tears are forming on her sons’ eyes.

"Henry, look at me,"

He slowly raises his head.

"I am so sorry that I made you so worried and that you are caught up in this. But I am getting help. I want to get better. Now what are those notes I see something about a lasagne there."

The young boy nods and smiles widely.

"Yup! There was a recipe for how to make it with like less salts and stuff. There was also one for like a dessert type thing with honey, yoghurt, oats and nuts which actually looked pretty good!"

Regina smiled widely along with her son nodding animatedly.

"Those sound awesome! So, do you want to go through the recipes and find what ones you think I'd like?"

She says laughing as Henry nods and pulls out the post-its, he has,

"I'm already on it mom!"

"Great! Now let's go downstairs. Your ma is making sandwiches and heating up the vegetable soup from last night."

**_I need you to know_**  
**_I'm not through the night_**  
**_Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light_**  
**_I need you to know_**  
**_That we'll be OK_**  
**_Together we can make it through another day_**

Regina and Henry walked down the stairs to see Emma had set out plates and bowls of ham and cheese sandwiches, with the vegetable soup. What caught Regina by surprise was that Emma had not started eating it.

Slowly Emma looked over at Regina and pulled a box from her jacket pocket, kneeling down on one knee she looks up at Regina and smiles widely.

"Regina 5 years ago a boy brought me here to help save this town. 3 years ago I promised happy endings. And as I kneel before you know for 2 years, we have been happy, and I found that my happy ending is you.

So, we will work through every battle and we have for years, and I will stand by you through everything. So, Regina Alta Mills will you be my happy ending and I hope I can be yours, and become my wife?"

Regina looks down at her girlfriend who is now crying along with her and nods smiling widely.

"Yes! Yes! I will be your happy ending! And oh Emma you are so much more than just my happy ending! I love you!"

"I love you too Regina."

And with that Henry pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of the couple completely oblivious to the world around them at this moment.


	3. Waitin' On Love Ain't Easy

AN: So here is chapter 3.

Trigger warning for eating disorders, child abuse and marital abuse.

Disclaimer, I do not own these characters or the show of Once Upon a Time.  
I don't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine.

 **Bold** means a flashback or dream sequence, and  _Italics_  are thoughts.

* * *

 

The morning after the proposal Regina was awake first and, in the kitchen, making her and Emma breakfast. Henry had made himself scarce by going to his grandparents’ house, giving them both a nod and hug goodbye, he left the house his face turning bright red, after he had accidently heard the conversation that was occurring between his moms about their ‘activities’ to come later.

Emma wakes up puzzled as to why her bed is empty and very aware of the fact that she is still naked on the bed. Remembering Henry is away she slowly descends the stairs, noticing the smell of bacon and coffee she smiles as she turns and notices that there are two plates on the counter  
_‘she is cooking for herself again.’  
_Emma smiles before silently wrapping her very naked body around Regina’s robe covered waist from behind. Regina moves her head smiling and kissing the bottom of her lip.

“Good morning my wife to be.”

“Good morning Gina.”

Turning around to face Emma, Regina jumps back just realising her fiancés lack of attire. __  
Wow she is beautiful. Why can’t I be like that?’  
Regina slowly looking down and then grabbing Emma by the waist,

“Why don’t we forget about breakfast right now?”

With a flourish their food and plates are gone, Regina lifting Emma onto the breakfast counter as Emma grabs the dark hair beneath her.

After a second and third round it had reached lunch time and both women were very hungry. As well as extremely aware that Henry is supposed to be home soon.

Getting into a shower – together – they finished cleaning themselves and started to get dressed.  
Regina looking at her ring smiled but suddenly her world turned bleak.

**“You must marry him Regina! You have no choice!”**

**“Mother! He is as old as father; I cannot marry him!”**

**Cora raises her hand and threatens her daughter with a fireball. Throwing it just above Regina’s head, Regina stares at her mother wide eyed.**

**“You haven’t threatened me in a long time ever since I saved Snow. Why now?”**

**“Oh child, I never threatened you, I was reprimanding you and helping you become strong, not so childish!”**

**Regina bows her head slowly and speaks softly,**

**“Yes mother, I understand.”**

“Regina? Regina. Honey? What’s going on, what are you seeing? I am here. You are safe. I love you. You are cared for.”

Emma continues to hold onto Regina who had fallen back and was now sitting on the bed. Regina slowly comes around from her flashback,

“Emma. I am scared. I love you but, getting married I don’t, I just. I.”

With that Regina crumbles into Emma’s arm, and cries.

“Gina, honey. What is wrong? What don’t you know?”

Slowly rocking the shorter woman in her body, she starts the get tears in her own eyes.

“Em. I love you. But Leopold, he-“

And with that Emma cuts of her lover,

“I am not him. I am not going to abuse you. And I am not forcing this in you like Cora did. Regina! How could you think that? Are you sure you want to get married?”

During Emma’s talking she had let go of Regina and stood up.

“I am going to get Henry. I will see you later.”

Regina stood up, tears in her eyes. Crying out after her girlfriend.

“Emma don’t leave! Emma please!”

But her words were hushed by the sound of the front door closing.

 _‘God I fucked up! You idiot Regina!’_  
She says in her head berating herself as she sits back on the bed.

 _‘God I fucked up! Idiot Emma!’_  
Emma says to herself in the car as she drives to her parent’s home.

As Regina sits on her bed she does something she hasn’t done in a while, she transports herself to her vault. Entering the vault Regina notices that Emma hadn’t cleaned it up when she had found out everything 3 months ago.

Slowly but surely, she starts to clean up the pictures of herself trying not to look at them and just putting them in the case, one however catches her eye.  
Regina standing beside Leopold who is sitting on his throne. Regina notices the wedding attire and cringes as tears well in her eyes.  
  
**“Regina Alta Mills, do you take Leopold Peter White as your lawful wedded husband?”**

**Slowly cringing internally, a small voice opens up,**

**“I do.”**

**Knowing what is coming next Regina’s heart quickens.**

**“You may now kiss your bride.”**

**Trying her hardest not to pull away from the kiss Regina stands stiff as the older man places his rough lips onto hers.**

Throwing the picture to the floor her body expels – against her will - all trace of food she had eaten last night.  
_‘Even when I’m not trying to be sick, I am! What is wrong with me!?’_

Her thoughts are silenced when her phone goes off “Oh the candy man can-“ Emma had made it a habit to choose a cheesy song or a silly song to make her ringtone on Regina’s phone each week.

Quickly Regina cleans up the puke and places everything back in its place using magic. Before Regina can even say a word after she has answered Emma starts,

“Regina! I am so sorry, I was an idiot and I didn’t realise what I was saying. I know you have had a really hard time and I can’t believe how insensitive I was. You were abused Regina. Of course you will struggle with getting married again! I am so sorry!”

“Emma! Breathe darling!”

Smiling as Regina can hear Emma take a dramatic breath through the phone.

“I forgive you. I didn’t mean to upset and scare you at all! I just had a flashback and I couldn’t think. I am sorry for putting any doubts in your head. I love you Emma Michaela Swan, and of course I want to be your wife!”

“I love you too Gina. Oh Henry is getting in the car, and he says he has a surprise for you! I’ll give you a hint. It smells amazing!”

Regina now curious laughs into the phone.

“Well now I am intrigued! See you soon dear!

“See ya soon Gi.”

Regina knowing that it only took about ten minutes to drive from Snow’s place to her house quickly drank some water to get rid of the taste of vomit in her mouth popped a mint and appeared in the master bedroom. Waiting for a few minutes she then walked down the stairs, hearing the bug drive up she smiled as the door opened.

“Hey Henry! I hear you have a surprise for me?”

Henry nodding animatedly, he grabbed the dish from Emma and placed it on the counter.

“So, I learned the recipe for the lasagne in that book I have from the library and grandma helped me make it for you, so for once I made you lasagne and not the other way around!”

He finished his statement with a hug to his mother. Regina kissing the boy’s head smiles,

“I love you Henry, and it smells amazing! I don’t know how Emma stopped herself from eating it all in the car!”

She laughs. Emma walking around into the kitchen places a kiss on Regina’s cheek,

“I’ll set the table. You relax.”  
Emma says softly noticing the slight shake in Regina’s stance, she calls out while grabbing the plates and cutlery for dinner,

“Gi, you okay?”

Regina looks at Henry slowly before she grips the counter with a strength that her knuckles go white. Emma noticing no response walks back in to the dining room to see Regina there. Placing the plates and cutlery on the table, as fast as she can manage, she is by her fiancé’s side,

“Regina. What have you eaten today? Did you have anything since I left?”

Regina shakes her head,

“Not eaten since the soup and sandwiches’ last night. Threw up in the vault.”

Emma just nods and reassures the shorter woman,

“Okay, sit down, Henry call Dr. Groves please, ask if he is able to see Regina for a check-up tomorrow?”

“Okay ma.”

Emma grabs the plates and cutlery as Regina sits and the dizziness dissipates, dishing out helping’s pf the lasagne and grabbing water for each of them Emma hands Regina the water.

“You gotta get something in your system, and why did you throw up? What happened?”

Regina taking a bite of her lasagne and a sip of her water shakes her head before starting to talk.

“It wasn’t on purpose it just happened. I-I was looking at old pictures and well it was disgusting to me so my body reacted against me. I didn’t mean to; I didn’t mean to.”

“I’m sorry that happened, I am here for you. We will get through this. Would you like to hear some of the stuff I thought about for the wedding?”

Regina nods smiling, as Henry walks in.

“You have an appointment with Dr, Groves and Dr. Hopper tomorrow mom. Dr. Groves is at one thirty and Dr Hopper is at two. Do you like the lasagne?”

Henry smiles hoping it is a yes.

“Thank you and yes this is amazing Henry!”

All of them eating the lasagne and chatting away.

“Now dear I believe you had said something about stuff for the wedding?”

And with that Emma starts off on the colour’s she wants and the wedding bands that are beautiful! The dresses they shall wear! Henry jumping in here and there about folks in the town and the different wedding’s that have happened.  
Regina smiling widely, nodding and jumping in with her own stories.

Henry smiles widely,  
_‘I love my moms!’_

Emma laughs at her own joke,  
_‘I finally have a home, and soon a wife!’_

Regina looks down at her ring,  
‘ _I love my family, and I am not trapped!’_


	4. I'll Never Stop Loving You

AN: So here is chapter 4… and the last chapter.

Trigger warning for eating disorders, child abuse and marital abuse.

Disclaimer, I do not own these characters or the show of Once Upon a Time.

I don't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine.

 **Bold** means a flashback or dream sequence. Italics are thoughts.

* * *

 

_(3 months after the last chapter)_

 

Emma woke up groaning at the sound of her alarm just to receive an accidental slap to the face as Regina rolled over to also turn off the blasted alarm.

“Reginaaa… You forgot to turn off the alarm!”

Regina lightly slapped Emma in the arm at her complaining.

“Emmaaaa…”

Regina chuckled, imitating Emma’s groans,

“I forgot? Dear it’s Friday, you do have work!”

“UGH, damnit!”

And with that Emma rolled off the bed onto the floor and stole all the covers, to Regina’s horror as she shrieked at the cold. With a glare on Emma she quickly recovered the blanket using her magic, which of course led to Emma doing the same and then they were laughing out loud.

Emma proceeded to jump back on the bed pick up a pillow and hit her fiancé with it, Regina gasped and then repeated the action a huge smile on both of their faces.

“Now Miss. Swan, it seems I have made you late for work, or I guess, you made yourself late.”

The older woman said with a smirk on her face, Emma rolled her eyes at Regina and got of the bed going to her side of the closet - picking up a pair of skinny jeans, keeping the tank top she had slept in on, and rushing out the door grabbing one of her many leather jackets.

Not before Regina managed to slap Emma’s butt though, Emma jumped at the contact, she turned and kissed Regina quickly before running out the door shouting “I love you!” as she left.

Regina sat on the edge of her bed and smiled, she stood up and walked to the bathroom she cleaned her face and then opened the medicine cabinet to get her moisturizer, foundation, blush, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, and lastly her famous red lipstick – putting it on swiftly and meticulously.

Once finished she walked around to her side of the closet- which to be completely honest was mostly all of the closet, and picked up a simple grey and black dress, deciding to add some color to her wardrobe she grabbed some red jewelry and put it on, once that was done she went to the bathroom once more and collected the mousse and sprayed a small amount onto her hands before tousling her hair to give it volume.

Satisfied with her look – well as much as she could be - she walked down the stairs to find Henry sitting at the breakfast bar eating honey nut corn flakes and a piece of toast.

“Good morning Henry.”

Regina said softly while grabbing herself one of the power bars. Henry saw that that was all she was eating and asked quietly,

“Mom? Is that all you’re having?”

Regina - who had just bit into the bar - looked at Henry a fierceness she hadn’t intended came out of her,

“Yes Henry. This is all I’m having, and I’d appreciate if you not question me about it again. Do you understand?”

Henry taken aback nodded and in a small voice said,

“Yes ma’am.”

“Good, now off you go to school, I love you.”

“Love you too mom, bye.”

Regina slumped in one of the stools at the breakfast bar and started to cry she hadn’t meant to talk to Henry that way, it just happened when the crying stopped she went to the lounge and called her assistant telling the woman that she would be late, picking up the wedding magazines on the coffee table she started to flick through the pages, unfortunately this was not a good plan…

**“Mother. He is twice my age, he is as old as father! Surely you do not expect me to – “**

**And with that Cora cut Regina off,**

**“Ah, ah, ah, stop your protest Regina, you will become a queen, if it is the last thing I do.”**

**Cora smirked and walked away as Regina stood rigid in position, she no longer needed to be held physically or magically she knows to stand and take it, if she doesn’t worse would happen.**

**Regina awoke hearing people bustle about the room, she then looked towards the dressing maid nearing her with a wedding dress, it hit her that moment and she started to cry involuntarily.**

**Cora walked in and slapped her harshly across the face.**

**“Pull yourself together child! It will be a good day today! Won’t it?”**

**She finished with a glare towards Regina.**

**“Yes mother, it will be good day.”**

**Regina nodded her face down, wiping her eyes. She stood and looked towards the chamber maids as they held up the wedding corset and she got ready for the day she had been dreading.**

Shaking her head swiftly she pulled herself out of her thoughts and dried her eyes. Grabbing her phone, she called someone, the least likely person – Snow.

Snow answered her ringing phone, seeing the name and picture, she paused, Regina rarely called for herself, it was always about someone else, and if Regina needed help it was Henry or Emma to call.

She answered swiftly, a concerned tone within her voice,

“Regina? Is everything okay? Is it Henry? Emma?”

There was a pause where no one spoke and Snow spoke again,

“Regina? What is wrong?”

Now a gentle tone lacing her voice, confusion growing on the woman’s face (though Regina couldn’t see this). Regina gained her voice hearing the gentleness in her - step-daughter, nemesis, mother-in-law-to-be?

“Sn-Snow? Could you come over? I need to talk to you. Please?”

“Of course, Regina, I will be right over!”

Snow hopped in her car and drove straight to the house, getting out of the car and walking to the door she stood for a moment preparing herself for whatever was wrong with Regina then she rang the bell.

Regina stood up hearing the door bell, she tried to dry the remaining tears on her cheeks to no avail since they just kept coming. Walking to the door she opened it wide to let Snow in, with her face down she quietly spoke,

“Thank you for coming over Snow. I didn’t know who to talk to.”

Snow nodded and lightly placed a hand under Regina’s chin pushing it up so she could see into Regina’s eyes.

“Regina I am here. What is it you want to talk about?”

Snow asked as she lightly swiped at some of the woman’s tears. She was confused as to why Regina had called, but whatever it was she obviously needed to be here.

It took a few minutes, but Regina made some tea for Snow and grabbed some water for herself. The two sat side by side – but slightly facing each other – on the couch. Regina picked up the magazine she was reading before the flashback and slowly spoke.

“Snow, I am not sure how much you know of what kind of man your father was. But. He-he wasn’t a good man.”

Snow looked taken aback but tried to hide this.  
‘ _I do not need to hear this. What is she talking about?’_  
Snow thought to herself.

“He. My mother. I. I. He.”

Regina just kept repeating herself and Snow leant in to rub her back. But as Snow’s hand landed on Regina’s back, she collapsed into herself and started weeping and sobbing.

At this point Snow had no idea what to do so she sat there, not touching the older woman and speaking softly,

“Regina, breathe. Please breathe. You are safe. I am sorry I scared you. Let me call Emma.”

That last statement seemed to get through to the distraught woman as she slowly nodded, still holding herself.With that Snow picked up the phone.

Emma’s phone began to ring as she was making her third paper airplane and Charming was playing Tetris on his phone.

“Mom? What’s wrong?”

As soon as Emma picked up the phone and said mom, Charming looked up from his phone.

“Okay, I will be right there. Tell her that Leopold isn’t there. Keep repeating that it is only you. She will be okay. Thank you for calling mom.”

Charming looked increasingly confused at the one side of the conversation he could hear. Emma grabbed her leather jacket from the back of her chair and the keys on her desk before she decided that driving would take too long, so with a flick of her wrist she was at home in the living room.

“Thank you for calling me, mom.”

Emma said to Snow as she took her place beside her fiancé, sitting right beside Regina careful not to touch her, yet all she wanted to do was wrap the mayor in her arms, reaching out she put a hand just above Regina’s thigh, making sure the brunette was aware it was there and then she began to speak in a gentle and soft tone,

“’Gina, hey baby… It’s Emma. Not Leopold. Emma.”

Regina grabbed the hand that was above her thigh and a sob escaped her body shoulders shaking.

“Not. Not Leopold… Emma, it’s you. Emma…”

Regina cried looking up to see in her fiancée’s eyes. Emma nodded and ran a thumb back and forth over the back of Regina’s hand.

Snow watched the interaction from behind the couch and smiled, she didn’t want to believe her father the man she trusted so much and loved so deeply could be so awful but seeing Regina’s visceral reaction to the mere mention of him solidified it.

Watching the way Emma calmed down the older woman so quickly and sighed, speaking up slowly,

“Em’ I think I’m gonna head. I am sorry Regina.”

Both women looked up towards Snow and nodded,

“thank, thank you for coming Snow… I, I am truly sorry about this…”

Regina gestured to herself, a sad smirk on her face. Snow shook her head and sighed,

“there is nothing to apologize for Regina.”

And with that she left to go get her own comfort in the arms of her husband at the station.

“Gina, sweetie?”

the brunette simply shook her head and Emma sighed; she was not exasperated she just wished her soon to be wife would speak. Regina pointed to the magazine and immediately Emma knew what was going on, smack dab in the middle of the cover a ‘how to lose 10lbs for your big day’ was in yellow beside a skinny blonde “bride to be”.

Two things, Emma thought, wedding and the weight.

“Do I need to call Archie?”

Regina shook her head and Emma slid slightly closer, letting her fiancé fall into her.

“It was supposed to be a good day.”

Regina spoke up,

“I had to look perfect for him. Had to be just right for the king.”

She says in a mocking tone that is almost covered by the tears that choke her. Emma runs a hand up and down the brunette’s back

“you don’t have to be perfect for me. You are already perfect to me”

she said softly, hoping to cheer the woman up.

“I may not believe it for myself, but I don’t think you would lie.”

And that was the most Emma could ask for, that was progress she was happy to see.

“Let me call the office, you and I won’t go in today, we will stay here and lounge, talk about the wedding - or not, maybe practice for the honeymoon.”

Emma said slyly a smirk covering her face and Regina smacked her lightly on the hand with a “yeah that sounds good.”

Henry came home from school expecting to be coming home alone, not expecting to see his mothers, barely clad on the sofa.

“MOMS!”

He shrieked as he walked in, quickly covering his eyes and subsequently crashing into the kitchen wall.

Emma and Regina both looked up in shock, Emma’s head appearing to look up at Regina’s face from between those toned thighs and both of them laughed heartily while covering up,

“Sorry H! We lost track of time!”

The blonde mother yelled out and Henry just responded with a

“get an alarm then”

and ran up to his room.

As they set down to dinner that night Henry struggled to look at either of them, they however couldn’t keep their eyes from each other, mumbling under his breath

“you excited for tomorrow?”

Emma and Regina’s eyes both gleamed, and simultaneously said

“yes!”

Followed by Regina asking,

“Is your suit pressed and ready to go, my prince?”

and him rolling his eyes with a

“yes mom”

All smiling and laughing passing food to each other and finishing their plates. Putting them in the dishwasher and saying goodnight to each other.

Emma smiled and ran to the room to grab her dress from her side of the closet hidden in the black dress bag and kissed Regina, before her soon to be wife stopped her,

“Where do you think you’re going Miss Swan?”

“To mom and dad’s! I can’t see you before the wedding ‘Gina, its bad luck!”

Regina just shook her head but smiled and let her go.

Regina lay in her bed staring at the ceiling and pulling thread on her blanket, Emma mirroring this in her small bed at her parents’ house, minds racing of marriage thoughts, happiness, fear, love, terror, joy.

By the time the two woke up the next morning they had maybe gotten 4 hours of sleep.

Getting ready Henry helped his mom, and Emma got Snow’s help. And both looked equally beautiful.

Regina stood at the end of the aisle, Geppetto standing to officiate the wedding, Archie smiled at her and she saw her friends and family over these months who had seen her downfall and subsequent recovery. Henry gave her a thumbs up and Snow sat beside him, looking at Regina with pure love that was of family, she heard the wedding march play (she won that argument for tradition) and everyone stood.

Emma and Charming walked down the aisle,

“She looks beautiful”

Charming whispered to his daughter and she could not speak just nodded and thanked the gods that Snow had waterproof eyeliner and mascara.

As Emma reached the end and Charming placed her hand in Regina’s it took all of them to not kiss right there and then. I love yous exchanged and Geppetto cleared his voice to speak,

“Witnesses, guests, family and friends. We are gathered today to witness the love these two share for each other, they have asked we do traditional vows and they each have small vows at the end for each other,”

He smiled and both of them looked at each other,

“Please repeat after me, Regina.”

“I, Regina, take you, Emma  
to be my wife,  
to have and to hold  
from this day forward;  
for better, for worse,  
for richer, for poorer,  
in sickness and in health,  
to love and to cherish,  
till death us do part.”

He smiled as the brunette finished and turned his head to the blonde,

“Emma please repeat.”

“I, Emma, take you, Regina  
to be my wife,  
to have and to hold  
from this day forward;  
for better, for worse,  
for richer, for poorer,  
in sickness and in health,  
to love and to cherish,  
till death us do part.”

“And now for your own words, Regina.”

Regina coughed lightly hoping to cover the happy sob and spoke up,

“Emma, you have seen me through hell and walked through a lot of it with me, for that I can never be more grateful than I am today. You have shown me true unchanging never-ending love and I hope to show you the same. You came to my life and we may have fought but I know now that you will fight with and for me. I thank you for agreeing to be my wife.”

Emma wiped away a tear and nodded when Geppetto nodded towards her.

“Um I can’t really remember much so” she chuckled as she pulled a few notecards from the cup of her dress,

“Gina, you let me into your life, and into our son’s life when you did not need to when you had so many things fighting against you. You said yes when I asked you to marry me - despite your horrible past and for that I adore you. I don’t know much else to say, you love me - I hope. And by god I love you with every ounce of me.”

Regina and Emma leaned forward before Geppetto chuckled and both women flushed,

“Do we have the rings?”

He asked and Henry jumped up and gave them over,

“With this ring, I thee wed”

Regina spoke up, her voice shaky but firm.

“With this ring, I thee wed”

Emma repeated, sliding the ring on slowly.

“By the power vested in me by the mayor of Storybrooke”

Everyone chuckled a little bit at this,

“I know pronounce you wives; you may kiss each other!”

And everyone cheered, a few huzzahs erupted, and they smiled into the kiss as Snow and Charming shared a small one of their own, and Henry and Archie shook hands both eyes shown with tears.

Regina was finally at home in her body, with her wife, with a son, and she was loved.

* * *

Final Authors Note:

Here it is, the end of this. I can’t believe it is over even if it was only 4 chapters, I started this at the beginning of my own recovery and that is a lot of why it took me almost 4 years from start to end.

I thank you, for those who have favorited, followed, and reviewed and I appreciate every one of y'all.

Once again, I do not own any of the songs used, or the show Once Upon a Time.

Thank you again, and I will see you on the flip side with some other fics, multi-chap fics and one-shots alike.

-KH Scribes


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